Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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