mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
