sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
