Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
