i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
