so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
