everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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