Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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