It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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