I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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