I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
