Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
