Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
as a side note pls kill me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
