is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He felt like a one man threesome
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
