he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
