She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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