is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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