He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
