Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
