i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
