Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
