I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
