Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
