I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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