just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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