There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
