Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
