Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
