I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
did you just send me my own nude
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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