this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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