Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
