so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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