I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
