They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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