He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
