he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
