As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Michael Bay diarrhea
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
