So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
