why didn't you poke me back
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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