Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
