That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
