I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
