i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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