it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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