You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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