we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
