hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
