Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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