Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
