Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i think i just lost a toe
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
