i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
did i just pee glitter
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
