Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw a hot homeless man
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
